“Lehman Brothers CEO Elmer “Dick” Fudd announced a capital infusion from BlackRock and un-indicted co-conspirator Hank Greenberg which saved LEH‘s ass for at least one more week. The invesors saw their share value erode by $3 (11%) by the close of Friday. Mr. Fudd addressed the stick-save measure by saying “us old whores have to stick together” as they merrily played a game of musical deck chairs on Mr. Fudd’s personal luxury yacht, the S.S. Titanic, with the cool cool sounds of Montovani playing in the background.
“Jimmy Cayne toked in praise of the call to action by his old comrades, saying “the capital infusion strategy was pure, unadulterated brilliance and should work out just as magnificently as it has for Bear Stearns.
“As to the demoted presidet and CFO, ‘Gregory and Callan remain at Lehman. Callan, 42, is returning to the investment-banking unit in a `senior capacity,’ <cough> the company said last week. Gregory’s position wasn’t specified.”
“But it was reported Mr. Gregory was seen bent over with his head between his legs in an attempt to kiss his ass goodbye (above).” [Bloomie]
In related news, spokesmen for banking powerhouses WaMu, KeyCorp, Downey Savings, Citigroup, Wachovia, JPMorgan, National City, IndyMac, FanniMae, FeddieMac, and Corus all vehemently denied their firms were circling the bowl.
Life is like a CDO… you never know what you’re gonna get.