Project Mersh

I’ve watched a fair amount of television in my forty-eight years. Probably mostly a waste of time too, hate to admit… but it’s too late to turn back now!
At an early age, I learned I was able to tune out the commercials. I kept that going to this day, where it requires too much effort now that I have mute and can edit them out using my pvr.
I think it’s remarkable (and satisying) that I recognized what a waste these were at such a young age. I kept the practice up until the vcr made it easy to skip them. I think few people watch television any more as it is aired unless it’s a sporting event. Television commercials are annoying and pointless, and it’s only the occasional clever or funny one that we all enjoy. Most are trite, annoying, repetitive, and aimed to separate you from your money for products of questionable worth with jingles and catch phrases that are punchy and artless.
While society is in transition from the old media to the new, there are cries from Mad Ave. that the 30 second spot is dying (some say it’s already dead), and devices that can edit out commercials should be banned. This has had some effect as my Media Center PC has no built in facility to do this.
The mersh makers and producers of Blat! know that without this brain washing they will be unable to move product. Sad I know, cos that also means… (Wait for it)… jobs!
WELL, it will get to that level soon, just you wait.
While there is some research that says advertising works, there are other reports that it is totally ineffective. I guess like religion, you have to believe in it for it to matter. Religion was probably the first product to use the hard sell to the masses, with the goal of control and as a sort of unexpected bonus to relieve them of their ducats as wll.

Oh yeah. Religion has never really delivered on its promises. Who from the afterlife has ever contacted you? I rest my case.

Religion is theft, fundamentally, and I will expand on that in a later missive, but for now it would be getting away my point (hmm, I know it’s around here somewhere).

So without further adieu, I announce my next big project: the banning of all television commercials.
It won’t be easy. Ring around the collar and that’s a some-a spicy-a a meatball-a and the Bryman school for Beauty will have to find some other way to hock their wares. I’m sick of eye/ear/mind pollution, of being sold to by products that neither interest me or have any place on my shelf. If I want something, I go to the store and buy it. If I have a problem, I’m apt to ask someone else what might work, not watch telly until the very thing I seek flashes before my eyes.
I mean c’mon, it’s all so unnecessary, and pointless, and there is an entire profession sprung up around it… talk about the lack of a solid foundation on which to build your house…
So tell your friends, get the word out, it’s a grass root beginning fer sure. Don’t worry about the effect this will have on the economy, or jobs, or programming. Hell, programming will have to improve, won’t it? I mean to get us to watch, they’ll have to produce really good stuff, not this bland same old same old that resembles everything else. And soap operas- think about this now, soap operas- will — no — longer — be — on — the — air. At least not in their current form. But they’ll have to make them good in order for anyone to want to watch! (Well, there are those that tune in because they think these are actually good (I know, I know, it’s astounding), but then they don’t know any better, poor stiffs, it’s not their fault. They’ll soon learn).
Or maybe we’ll watch less and get more out of life.

That alone should make you decide let’s ban all commercials!

If you happen to know a politician or two, bend their ear. Tell them in your most influential way that you’d like to keep America Byoo-ti-ful and demand to see an end to commercials. Tell them how society will be impacted favorably, more jobs will be created than ever in the history of the country, more good will be done for our society than could be accomplished by all if his.her ilk in Washington in 100 years, with this one simple act.

Brought to you by A Numpty Speaketh
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One Response to Project Mersh

  1. hagfish says:

    Jeez..wat a idealist. I can see it now.

    Ahem, Mr. Republican State Representative, first let me say your new contacts really do make a difference in your appearance. You don’t look like a mole wearing glasses any more. You look like a mole not wearing glasses.

    That’s neither here nor there sir. The reason I have a death-grip on your sleeve is that I want to tell you that Numpty said we should get rid of TeeVee commercials…

    I agree with him. So since you represent me more or less…well, yeah I do vote for the Democrats…uh well, it’s the American way…we’re free people…HELP! Unhand me you varlets… SIR, tell your thugs to let me go. Oh No! Not the river. I can’t swim! Help! Hel glurg

    P.S. The code for this posting is dhmofog. Sounde like an abbreviation of some rich swear words.

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